When you first tie the knot with your loved one emotions fly high and love is always in the air. For many couples, this is when their sex life is at its peak. Unfortunately, for many the romance and spontaneity start to dwindle only after a few months.
Warning signs that it's happening
There is really no set time where you really have to worry about this starting, sometimes it happens at one year, sometimes five to ten. When sex starts to get dull in a marriage, some people don't see real warning signs for a very long time, they shrug it off as being tired or stressed. Sometimes for a brief period, the couple may even get closer, as they find other interests and hobbies that make them feel more connected. It is true that in the winter months, people feel an urge to be less exposed and bundle up. Snuggling and warmth are important, but sex can seem like a seasonal pleasure of spring and summer. All of a sudden, one partner may feel neglected, and not talk about it. They feel confused, knowing they want intimacy, but all at once being naked together feels a little more exposed than it did months back. This has ruined many sex lives within marriages, because lapsing into that comfortable zone and just watching TV together takes the passion away like a vacuum cleaner.
How to start getting back on track
When other couples or counselors tell you to "talk about it more" we are going to make a bold statement here. For some people, talking about it doesn't work. It may be a simple effort to hold hands more, or buy lingerie for a surprise. The main reason why couples drift apart sexually is not because they don't feel attracted to each other anymore, it is because they got comfortable for a few weeks or a month not having sex and then all of a sudden felt awkward initiating it. This is why many are starting to negotiate marriage sex contracts before the wedding. But it's never too late to start getting things back on track.
I can't tell you how many times I have seen troubled couples that BOTH think that the other is not interested in them anymore, only because they have fallen into a groove that is comfortable without sex. It is true that someone you were once very anxious to get naked with every night still means the world to you but you feel awkward; and the pressures of life seep in. the bedroom starts to seem like a place to just sleep, and not have sex. One of the best ways to combat this is to have date night in random and new places, rekindling old sensations. All of a sudden when you have been away from the home and flirt elsewhere, when you come back it feels like a place to have sex again instead of just get nightly rest.
Keeping the solution intact
Part of the reason why marriage is so tough is because you can follow through on the ideas in this article, and have a great few months of rekindling sex. Then once again, winter comes, there is a grievance like death in the family, or economic pressure and you once again do not feel sexy. Hence the reason why so many people just "stay together because of the kids"; this is NOT a path you want to go down! If you have a marriage sex contract in place, you can ensure that sexual intimacy remains a priority in your relationship.
Of course sex toys introduced into the love zone can almost always work, after certain sex toys are used, if you find the right one, you two will hardly be able to wait for your next intimate hour. We all can fall prey to the winter doldrums, and a trip to somewhere with cabins, lakes, and needing bug spray can me much in order. Fresh air away from the city can stir sex drive immediately, as can some wine or beer in moderate amounts. Keeping the sex life in a marriage alive can be difficult, but if done right, you can be swooning over each other forever. Because even in these modern times, the promise of marriage really is supposed to last and benefit you both for the rest of your life.
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