Resolving Conflict in a Healthy Manner

Conflict is a way of life. There is no way to live on this planet and not have to deal with conflict. Just normal interactions with people will engage us in problems.

What is conflict? This is when 2 or more parties disagree on an arrangement they had previously agreed upon. Sometimes the conflict is because of an expressed agreement (such as when two people sign a contract and then one of them reneges) or an implied agreement (as when you pass someone on the street who steps on your foot and does not apologize). Regards of how its originates, once it starts it can become a real problem.

Here are some methods/mentalities necessary to resolve conflict in a healthy manner;

1) Understand the problem is the only problem- when conflicts arise people get off on tangents. But the only problem you have is the problem you have. This doesn't mean that in any relationship you have only one problem; what it means is that all problems have a root cause from which all the other issues flow. Let your focus remain on what caused the conflict.

2) Control your emotional response to conflict - its been said that anger rests in the bosom of a fool. Don't allow your feelings to dictate how you will behave. You can still choose what direction you want your life to flow in. Do you want it to flow towards peace or conflict?

3) Remember that conflict only exists because one or both parties refuses to change- If you can take two people and get them both to agree that they will not have a problem, then there will not be a problem. As long as we are willing to make the necessary changes we can overcome any obstacle.

4) Apologizing for faults committed is healthy in any relationship - an apology can go a long way in healing where hurts have been allowed to blossom. Focus on staying in good graces with the people you have a relationship with. This can go a very long way in making sure these relationships last for years to come.

You can resolve your conflicts in a healthy manner if you adhere to these principles outlined above. Make sure that you find open conflicts as much of a problem as an open sore. We must bandage up all wounds to receive healing in our relationships.