This Is Real Love

What is the evidence of real love? What are the actions and mindsets of someone who lives with love? I know each of us could come up with our own definitions, but I'm led to believe that the best definition of love is found in the bible. In the book of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 the scripture reads "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Now that is about as pure a definition of love as you'll ever see. What a perfect standard we have here in measuring love. If your actions and attitudes are not reflected in these scriptures, then you are probably not exhibiting "Real Love" in your life.

This is the 1st post in what I'm calling our "Real Love" series. In this series we'll be breaking down 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and studying the different aspects of love it mentions. Let's then take a look at ourselves, take a look at our actions, and see if we are matching these definitions of pure love. In order for us to be better men, we must understand what love in action really is. History has shown and the future will continue to tell us, that the greatest action and the greatest good a man can do is love. Love needs to become the center of our being, and when it is, there are no limits to what we can accomplish.

Let's start by taking a look at the beginning of verse 4, "Love is patient... "

When most of us think of love, probably one of the last attributes that comes to our minds is patience. Even though it may be one of the last characteristics we think about, it's the first one that the Apostle Paul mentions concerning love. Patient is defined by the free dictionary as bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness. Are you patient in your dealings with those you love? Are you able to bear and endure difficulties without becoming angry in your dealings with other people. Are you patient with your wife, or do you become easily angered and annoyed with her. Impatience tends to breed anger. I want us to understand that a lack of patience is not necessarily a character flaw; it's a symptom of a lack of genuine love. Patience is simply a byproduct of love in action.

This verse in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is also translated as "Love is long suffering... " Often times in our relationships we may experience pains and trials that we didn't plan for. Let me put it this way, we often have to endure circumstances and behaviors that may not be exactly to our liking. This is where the long suffering aspect of love comes into play. Long suffering is defined as patiently enduring wrongs or difficulties. As much as we may try, none of us are perfect and we all need to be able to reasonably deal with each other's flaws and shortcomings. In fact it's impossible to truly love without being long suffering because we have to be long suffering in order to deal with and care for each other. In life we will encounter each other's imperfections, both real and perceived. Love realizes that we are not solely defined by our imperfections. It reasonably reaches past our shortcomings and flaws and looks at our hearts.

Another aspect of long suffering is that it does not give up. Love has to be a constant conscious decision. There may be times when you don't feel like loving. In fact you may indeed feel like giving up or not being bothered with it. These feelings bring us to the saying that "love is not purely based on emotion, but also on action." It can begin with an emotion or desire, but it cannot be fully sustained based on emotions or feelings. I say this to point out that sometimes our emotions may not be in the best place, and we may not feel like actively loving. The long suffering aspect of love does not give up on loving simply because we may not feel like it or because the going gets tough. Emotions can flicker; they come and go moment to moment. Genuine love reasonably pushes through our emotions and marches on.

The patience and long suffering of love sees that things may not always go exactly as we planned, but it doesn't lose heart or give up. Love knows that all things work out for the good of those who are actively living a life of love.

Remember patience and long suffering in our relationships are a byproduct of love in our hearts. If you are having difficulties in this area, you may be running low on love. Please click on the following link, the fullness of love, to find out how we can fill our hearts with real love.