Love Conquers All - Or Does It?

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without

and know we cannot live within.

~James Baldwin~

In the 1960's, many people hoped that peace and love would transform the world. A significant portion of the country wished we could set aside war as a solution to the world's differences. Lately, a more cynical view threatens to grip us. Violence has become prevalent as a way to assert ourselves.

Our country was founded as a refuge from political and religious oppression. Once we were finished fighting for our freedom as a nation, we enacted our own oppressive laws and religious edicts. We are becoming increasingly violent as a society. Lately, guns have become a symbol of self expression as a violent streak runs through our culture and flash-points of murder erupt in various communities.

Sexuality, once the pinnacle of love between two people, has become the playground of predators. The ghost of priest sexual abuse still haunts us. Our newspapers daily recount incidents of sexual abuse. Political leaders leave their careers in the dust of their dalliances.

I remember learning in my high school history class that all civilizations eventually crumble. In my youthful idealism, I thought this surely could not be true. Yet history chronicles the evidence. In his book, Collapse, Jered Diamond details the choices societies sometimes make leading to their failure. What of our own society?

Our leaders are often blinded by their own ambition and unable or unwilling to work together for our common good. And yet we continue to elect them over and over. Those concerned about our environment often appear as voices crying out in the wilderness. As individuals, we are more and more inclined to tend to our own needs and desires, regardless of the lives of those around us. "Leave the dead to bury their own dead." "Let everyone else work for what they want like I did."

John Donne tried to remind us that no man is an island. Many of us were not listening. If we are not islands, what are we?Most of us are born into families and communities, essential to our survival. Those who grow up in only marginally functional families or communities frequently lack healthy attachments to people who could guide them toward a healthy life path. As a result they may not know how to progress beyond poverty and dysfunction.

Others of us are raised to believe that the best way to find what we need in life is to help others find what they need. Can that be right? How can taking care of others get us what we need? Often the people we detest and fear are the ones raised to think only of themselves. If we were all taught how to care for, yes love, those around us, who would there be left to fear or detest?

Life Lab Lessons

• What do you need in life?
• Who has helped you find what you need?
• Who can you help find what they need?
• Do what you can for them.
• Don't be surprised when they offer you what you need.