Why Won't He Commit to Our Relationship?

Does He Believe that You Have Options?

There is a type of woman who has no problem getting men to commit. In fact, she never worries about it and she never tries. She is a woman who has options: many men want to date her, so she knows that if one relationship doesn't work out, she will still get married and have children with a wonderful man anyway.

The law of scarcity is important, in economics and in love. When a man believes that he has competition, that other men would love to be with you, he will not take you for granted. He knows that if he doesn't commit, he'll lose you.

Does He Think that You'll 'Always Be Around'?

If a man thinks that he's your life, that you couldn't live without him, and that your world revolves around him, not only will he take his time to commit, he might never commit. He might think you're too needy or that you're desperate.

If you spend almost all of your spare time with him, this is a problem. Men are attracted to women who are popular and busy. When a woman has an active social life, great friends and her own hobbies, that makes a man want her more. Why? Men love women who are a challenge. Women who aren't easy. Do you always say 'yes' when he wants to go out with you?

Does He Think You're 'In Demand'?

Sometimes it's good to be unavailable, even if you're in a serious, long-term relationship. Even if you've been together for more than a year or two. Sometimes it's good to tell him that you can't do what he wants because you have plans with your friends or family. When you want a man to commit by asking you to get engaged, or by beginning to plan the actual wedding, sometimes you need to pull away a little to give him the chance to miss you.

In 'Not Your Mother's Rules: the New Secrets for Dating', the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider recommend that you pull away a little if your boyfriend isn't committing to the relationship. They recommend that you go on a trip with girlfriends, or that you get a little busier with work. If you're not always around he might appreciate you more. Not only that, he might realize that he wouldn't want to live without you.

Give this strategy a try. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will want to commit. He probably just needs to miss you a little so it clicks in his mind that you're The One.

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